In 1973 at 13years of age, I visited my brother David who lived in Las Vegas, and then my next brother Michael who lived in Sacramento. Michael took me on a raft trip on the American River.
We had been floating for a few hours when I saw a man fishing from the bank of the river. I had no idea how far we had traveled, and saw an opportunity to get some information. With an enthusiast NJ dialect, I shouted out “Hey mister, can you tell me where we are?” He paused and replied “Yep. You are out there in a raft floating on the river.” My brother laughed hard, but I felt a little hurt and confused. My brother’s explanation was that this elder wanted a bit more courtesy and respect, and didn’t appreciate me shouting “hey.” Oh, yeah “hay is for horses! Have you heard that one too?
The event obviously stayed with me. The man’s words stung me like a Zen koan. His answer was truthful but not satisfying. It didn’t give me reference to a known location. Reflecting now the moment was existential. The stories we tell ourselves about where we are in life or what we are doing are always incomplete and likely illusory.
Buddha invited us to become that our perceptions are riddled with illusion. He elucidated on the basic illusions. The aim of his teachings is to gain skillfulness in seeing things as they really are. Existence properly perceived would be painful at times but suffering could be avoided. He claimed to offer a way to extricate oneself from suffering.
This Buddhist concept of skillfulness in relation to pain and suffering is powerful! If I say nothing else of value, consider this message: that its possible to develop a skillfulness in how you think, speak and act that will avoid the creation of suffering. I will share a few of my experiences. However, I imagine your payoff will come as attempt to become mindful of the effect of your thoughts words and deeds.
When I originally posted the title of the sermon, I used the wrong word. The word I wanted was Kusala, the Pali word for skillfulness. The word I used, Akusala, actually means unskillfulness. Not an impressive display of my skillfulness! But hopefully no harm done.
Kusala is also often translated as wholesomeness or purity, and akusala as unwholesome in thought or deed. I was taught that skillfulness is a more precise translation.
We gain many skills in life. Think for a minute of one skill that you have acquired. (pause). Whatever skill just came to your mind, you developed that skill to fulfill some basic need. We develop skills to increase our chances of survival. Skills whose connection to survival isn’t direct or obvious are developed because they aid us in creating some quality that tries to make life more wonderful for us.
The Buddhist concept of skillfulness is similar. Learning how to get free from suffering, and how to stop creating more suffering, wouldn’t that make life more wonderful?! The path to develop Kusala is good medicine. But before we administer it, I will offer a disclaimer.
A tool or power used for healing can likely also be used for harming. Please do not use this information as tool to beat yourself. This information can deliver to you the power or ability to respond in challenging situations. Common illusions will distort this message causing you to perceive responsibility as burden. The same illusion will turn “I’m responsible” into “I am to blame.” Or “It is my fault.” Good medicine distorted can become lethal.
*ad libbed: When you consider this material, when you administer this “medicine” for the first time, and if you decide to make this a lifelong practice, the most important thing you can do to increase the likelihood of your success in trying not to create suffering, is to meet yourself exactly where you are with empathy. Practice self compassion. Make a commitment to meet yourself where you are, become curious but not as an interrogation. If you meet yourself with honesty and acceptance, the changes that will come will grow from love and will bring more joy!
A year after taking my first class in Buddhism, I went on a peace pilgrimage in Europe. One of my fellow pilgrims, a student of Buddhism told me “if you want to do something about suffering in the world, do something about your suffering!”
“Well, all righty then!” It was another stinging but useful message.
Deep inside, every one of us longs to live in a world where people are treated with kindness, dignity and respect. We wish we had the power to bring about that world. We would like the power to avoid suffering. We would like to assist our loved ones when they are suffering. Somewhere along the line, we have concluded that we simply lack the power to do so.
Enter Kusala, Buddhist concept of skillfulness. To move towards it, let’s admit that we have a lot to learn!
I am UU because I want to be with people who want to learn. I’m UU because I want to be with people who do inner work in conjunction with outer work. One of my teachers, Ram Dass articulated this beautifully. He said: “I would like my life to be a statement of love and compassion, and where it isn’t, that’s where my work lies.
It’s rare to find a path that combines inner and outer work. Plenty systems tell us to focus on ourselves and forget the idea of changing society. Systems or traditions focus on individual salvation, individual enlightenment, individual achievement, personal growth or mental health. Often these systems condemn and squelch activism, saying or implying that it’s wrong, bad or just foolish to try to change society.
There are systems that aim to change society. Rarely do these systems give an equal appreciation of the need for personal healing. Some rail against industries or institutions that cause great harm to people and ecosystems. Some groups form in opposition to existing regimes. The wellbeing of participants is rarely held as part of the work. Workers for causes are exploited, even sacrificed. Glorious ends are used to justify horrible means. War is one obvious example. The same pattern can be found in political organizations.
Our religious tradition asks us to think about what we can do for our country, for our congregation, for marginalized people, for Earth. And in our efforts to build the beloved community, it asks us to nurture souls. It asks us to participate in this living tradition to cultivate and carry a sense of the holy or a sense of awe for mystery. This tradition asks us to celebrate the diversity of ways that people worship.
The Buddhist concept of skillfulness could be very useful to us in fulfilling our mission and ministry! How could we create the beloved community without mindfulness of how our thoughts, language and behaviors can contribute to suffering? How can we live in covenant with each other unless we are willing to listen to each other, allowing ourselves to be influenced? We must be willing to change, willing to discover how our behaviors impact others. We must be willing to learn together.
Buddhism directs us to become more skillful by becoming aware of the effects of our thoughts and actions. Meditation is perhaps the best-known practice for developing mindfulness. I just suggested some of the ways that we UUs are becoming more aware and mindful of the effect of our thoughts and behaviors.
Buddha taught that unskillful thoughts and actions lead to suffering. Acting in skillful ways enables us to not increase suffering. For this reason, Buddha taught the 8 fold path to enlightenment. The eight steps are 1. Skillful understanding, understanding that all our deeds produce consequences or effects.
2. Skillful Intention Knowing the why of our actions, developing moment to moment mindfulness of body speech and thought
3. Skillful Speech Clear Communication Refraining from lying, divisive, harsh, abusive or idle speech, remaining silent unless you have something useful to say.
4. Skillful Action Refraining from stealing, sexual misconduct, or killing other living beings. Actively supporting life, respecting others’ boundaries and relationships.
5 Skillful livelihood: At work or in business adhering to prohibitions against killing, selling weapons, selling people, meat, alcohol or poison, deceiving, cheating being dishonest.
6. Skillful Effort: Cultivating the qualities that enable us to be vigilant on the path, nurturing beneficial habits, and avoiding blocks to meditation and mindfulness
7. Mindfulness Developing the habit of observing our breath, thoughts, speech and actions.
8. Concentration. #6 and 7 bring about a level of skillful concentration. Having withdrawn from the distractions which keep us in an unskillful state of mind, one enters into an ongoing restful state of single pointedness.
Wow! That sounds really good! Reviewing this path, especially the 8th step inspires hope for further recovery from traumatic brain injury. Restfulness staying present, that sounds blissful to me!
Here are four basic forms of illusion, that according to Buddhism keep us from perceiving things as they are, and lead us to suffer. 1) We mistake impermanence as permanence. We think that things will stay as they are. We seek permanence in people, places and events that will inevitably end.
2) We mistake suffering as happiness. A common example, we think ownership will provide us with lasting happiness. When we buy a new car, we may feel happy. Soon we find it takes effort to maintain the car. We may miss the funds going to paying for the car. An accident causes damage or totals the car. Our happiness fades.
Another example of mistaking suffering as happiness is the practice of seeking intoxication from alcohol, drugs, or fantasy. We have an illusion that we will be made free by something that actually causes us further suffering.
3)Mistaking “nonself as self.” Example, we identify our body and or possessions as who we are. False identification can be a great source of illusion and suffering.
4) We mistake nonbeauty as beauty. This is the illusion of fantasizing based on surface appearances. We see certain attributes on the surface of a person or a situation, and we lunge forward greedily. Or we flee fearfully when what’s beneath the surface doesn’t match our fantasy. We miss the beauty of the whole.
Buddha taught of four divine states, aka “perfect virtues,” or immeasurables.” These are mental rather than emotional states. Practicing and cultivating these states will help us cultivate skillfulness.
1) Loving Kindness
2) Compassion
3) Sympathetic Joy
Learning to enjoy other people’s fulfillment. This was really important in my often-solo efforts at regaining my physical abilities after getting hit by a truck. I would go to the pool to exercise. I would have gotten lost in isolation and despair if I didn’t learn to take pleasure in the pleasure of children, families, groups of friends, appreciating connection when it was happening. I felt the sweetness witnessing tender affection between mother or father and child.
4) Equanimity We could have a wonderful service on this topic. And for many of these virtues! When I first heard the word equanimity, I knew only that I didn’t have it. I imagine that achieving it would make me uncaring, aloof, disconnected, inhuman. Now I see it as the ability to remain connected to core values or principles that enable me to better weather storms. It’s what enables us to not take things personally- not make them about us. Being able to tap into a much bigger picture also facilitates equanimity.
I find that all of the Buddhist teachings are potentially useful for getting free from the place where my suffering originates, the space between my ears. Who doesn’t want to develop skillfulness to stop creating suffering? And to be able to offer more effective assistance to others trying to get free from their suffering? Tending to the roots of what is bothering us is not a justification for cutting ourselves off from the suffering of others. Our faith doesn’t say “mind your own business” when it comes to interrupting cruelty, violence, and oppression. It doesn’t say “just worry about yourself.”
It’s more like Jesus reminding followers to remove the beam in our own eye before trying to remove the speck in our brother’s or sister’s eye.
If we want peace, then we must make peace. If we want justice, then we must be just. To value love we must be loving.
And to become skillful, mindful, wholesome, we must learn together. I give thanks for this sangha, for this imperfect community of imperfect souls striving for skillfulness and power to alleviate suffering and bring joy to life.
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