Hank sees and greets his friend Walter. “How are you doing, Walt?”
Walter: “Very well, thank you? How are you?”
Hank: “No complaint.”
Walter: “Hey Hank, is your son still living at home?”
Hank: “Yeah he is.”
Walter: “Well has he had any luck looking for a job?”
Hank: “No but he has started meditating.”
Walter: “Meditating? What’s that?”
Hank: “I don’t know but at least he isn’t sitting around doing nothing!”
Have you heard about the new religion that is very tasteful, lighter and still fulfilling? It’s called “I can’t believe its not Buddha!”
In case you wonder why a UU Church gets a Buddhist flavored sermon… the 2nd of the 6 sources of our faith is “wisdom from the world’s religions that inspire us in our ethical and spiritual life”. The 3rd principle in the covenant between UU congregations states: we affirm and promote acceptance of one another and encouragement to spiritual growth.
Many UUs find the lessons and practices from Buddhist tradition tremendously useful for practicing our UU faith.
“Is Enlightenment Desirable?” This is my 3rd joke. Buddha named desire as the cause of our suffering. That might mean that if you desire enlightenment, you won’t get it. They say that when you have to explain a joke, it’s not that funny.
Many have suggested that craving might be a more precise translation of Buddha’s teaching than desire. Craving includes the element of clinging, and attachment. It denotes addiction.
The Buddha said that we suffer because we seek permanence from the impermanent. We cling and try to hold on to that which will leave us. I’ve heard some say it this way: “You can tell the things that I’ve had to let go in my life because they have my claw marks all over them.”
When I was in college, I was trying to make sense of the world and integrate the Judaism and Catholicism in my family of origin. Several of the friends who heard me express my beliefs told me that it sounded like Buddhism. I began studying Buddhism in UU seminary, and have remained a student to this day. Buddhism has had a profound impact on my life.
Buddhism and the Eastern way of understanding life have sometimes been very challenging for me! In my last sermon, I mentioned how our cultural drive to productivity sometimes interferes with our ability to appreciate the value of stopping to mourn. We often distract ourselves, ignore or skip over the painful feelings that arise with the death of someone who has been a big part of our life.
Enlightenment comes from facing the pain of loss and piercing through to find a deeper experience of sublime reality. According to Thich Nhat Hahn, the Buddha taught “stopping” and “insight”, and said these were like two wings of a bird. We can’t meditate without “insight” and we can’t gain insight without “stopping.”
On a pilgrimage in 1992, we stopped at a Buddhist meditation center. A monk brought us out into the garden where there were pools of water contained by short walls made of neatly cut rocks. He asked us to look into the pond, and describe what we saw on the bottom. The water was very clear and we could see many things; a little arranged landscape of rocks and statues that the fish swam through, algae, plants. With a stick, he stirred up the water. He again asked us what we could see. The pool, cloudy with debris, made visibility impossible.
He said that our minds are like the pools of water, easily clouded by currents, thoughts, reactions, conditioning, ego, fear. To gain clarity we needed to let mental debris settle. We needed to meditate and stop the churning.
Thich Nhat Hahn, or ‘Thay’ as students affectionately call him, uses the word “stopping” to illuminate the way and purpose of meditation.
He shares a short verse from Sutras (scripture) as a mantra, meaning a phrased designed to extricate us from the imprisoning thoughts of our minds. “I am arrived. I am home.” Hahn tells us to imagine getting into bed. Then we say: “I’ve arrived. I am home”. This is facilitates awareness that we are stopping for the day, and we can rest.
In our culture, many of us run all day long. Sometimes our minds keeps running when we need rest. Our mind and body may believe it necessary to keep running. This shows the value of Buddha’s instruction for stopping.
I’ve become aware of a drivenness in me. I find it hard to stop. I’ve internalized the Western attitude of “don’t just sit there do something!” By contrast, a core Buddhist teaching is humorously expressed by a different phrase: “don’t just do something, sit there!”
Many people tell me that they can’t meditate. During our Sunday services, I try to offer some experience of ease in being able to pause, stop, relax, meditate, and gently meet ourselves where we are.
Perhaps stoppings sounds easy to do. What’s the need for practice? As some point, stopping, being still, seeing ourselves where we are becomes very difficult, very uncomfortable, even very painful.
Through many experiences we have accumulated a karma or consciousness that is like a great force driving us with momentum. This karma can enslaves us. We lose memory of what is really possible for and available to us. Our experiences, especially unhealed painful experiences, can leave us in the habit of thinking we must always be careful, or we will miss our chance. And we lose faith in our bodies to heal themselves.
Our Western culture teaches us that if we are having a hard time, there is something wrong with us. We should be happy. We should be able to distract ourselves. We should be able to get on with it already.
We learn that we should be ready to seize every opportunity to get ahead. We learn that the future is what matters. “Don’t stop thinking about tomorrow”. When we were in 1st grade we learned that it was better to be a 3rd grader because they get free time on the playground at lunch hour. We learn that bigger is always better. Life will be better when we get into junior high, high school, college, grad school. We will happy or maybe just ok if we can make it up ahead; when we get married or get a job, when we can afford to buy the car we want, when we can buy a house, when we can retire, when we can go to heaven. (”Soon I will be done with the troubles of this world”.)
Buddhist practice gives us a chance to learn what is driving us. It gives us the opportunity to turn off the autopilot.
A little breathing exercise, a little pause or sitting meditation can be delightful. However, what happens when that simple little cute nice thing we do in church or in the meditation group doesn’t comfort us. At some point we may feel alienated and think “I just can’t do this”. When that happens, it doesn’t mean we don’t have what it takes. It means that we are hitting the spot where the hard work of self-realization and liberation begins. For some it happens quickly. Others enjoy meditation a longer time before hitting difficulties.
US culture tells us if things get hard it’s our fault or there is something wrong with us or there is something that must be changed.
When we start having these judgmental thoughts, it may be a clue that we have stepped into one of those spaces where we are feeling really uncomfortable, ill at ease with ourselves. We move on the path of enlightenment when we can know that these tough spots tell us we are getting closer to the only place our liberation can happen. If liberation was easy, we would have already done it a long time ago.
One of my favorite tricks for awakening is to realize “oh, here is a moment of suffering!” This statement allows me to connect with the experience of billions of people on the planet. At some point everyone experiences an urge to run away. That’s when stopping/sitting still becomes very difficult. When I run away I miss the opportunity and the learning that is close by. Sometimes “oh, here is a moment of suffering” helps me to experience compassion. If I cut myself some slack, I will likely get curious and maybe be able to pierce the veil of this suffering.
It may not be easy to accept or even look at the reality that life gets really hard for everyone. Instead we hold on for dear life to the idea that if we just be good boys and girls we will get good grades and go to heaven. And oh to hell with those poor bastards suffering. They had their chance to accept Jesus as their savior! (Or fill in the blank with any number of ways to keep from sitting with the reality of widespread suffering.)
One thing that keeps us from stopping (resting, healing) is a deeply ingrained habit of avoiding feeling the unhealed pain that is in us. We spent decades learning to feel better by getting away from what’s uncomfortable. Our minds become busy to get us away from the perceived source of discomfort.
Another reason that stopping doesn’t come easy is the cultural pursuit of the fantastic. Our culture suggests as valuable only those who have fantastic outstanding accomplishments. TV and movies focus on the rich and famous and the extraordinary story of the person who got the big break. The ordinary gets devalued.
Young people today have a term that expresses contempt for ordinary. The word “basic” is an insult. Our children are driven to be different, to be better than. Why? Because its not ok to be ordinary. To be ordinary is to be a loser.
Another of my favorite teachers, Pema Chodran, says most of the violence in this world comes from our unwillingness to feel the pain we carry. She says the most hardened mean people are that way because they are protecting their wounded hearts. They build impenetrable armor so as never to feel that pain. Unfortunately unwillingness to feel the pain inside us also leads us to acquire a stockpile of assault weapons and bombs (metaphorically or literally). Our motto becomes “they can’t do that to me!”
Paradoxically there is incredible power unleashed when we cultivate a willingness to find and allow tenderness in our hearts. I heard the Dalai Lama say that every moment offers us an opportunity to harden our heart or to grow in compassion. Remembering this carries me through many tough challenges. As a UU, remembering my ability to keep learning has made life meaningful. Life-long learning. Revelation continues. This, too, is enlightenment.
Buddha taught that the way to enlightenment is to be able to stop trying to get away from this moment. The paradox is that we are liberated when we stop trying to escape the pain.
Remember the mantra I mentioned earlier? “I have arrived. I am home.”? Thich Nhat Hahn shows how to add tenderness to this mantra. Speaking to our bodies, we say “Darling, I have arrived. I am home.” We stop in order to reconcile and heal estrangement. With each in breath, we can say to our body: “Darling, I’ve arrived.” With each inhale we can affirm that we are taking a healing breath. “I’m home” can mean “I know I’ve neglected you”. We can say “I’ve worked too many hours, I’ve eaten poorly, consumed toxins, expected so much of you. I want to come home to you. I want to care for you. I thank you. I love you.”
As UUs we also affirm that Buddha, Christ, wise mind, healing force, sacredness of life abides inside us. Third-generation Unitarian Minister Ralph Waldo Emerson said “To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.”
And because I’ve only scratched the surface of Buddhist wisdom, and trust us to continue to explore together, I will end with a new age thought which seems very UU. Perhaps the next Buddha will be a community, a sanga or congregation. Buddha wisdom will be in each of us, and multiplied when we come together.
So be it.
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